Chryed Piper
by Mushroom Hair
Summary: Under the kilt.


**_For AppleCity :) xx_**

Christian rubbed his hands with glee as he wished his last client of the day a happy new year.

Sprinting across the square, he wondered again where the sound of the bagpipes was coming from, it had been wheedling away in his ear for the whole day.

"SY!"

The flat was empty on his return. He ripped off his sweaty clothes and stuffed them into the laundry basket. Singing loudly, he turned the shower on full force.

'I can't decide!' He wailed to himself, sorting through outfits for the evening.

'Leather jacket of grey hoodie?'

He looked up as the door opened.

"Sy! This one, or this one?" He switched the clothes quickly against his chest, for Syed to judge.

Taking off his jacket, Syed blinked in bemusement.

"They're both nice. You'd look hot in either…"

"Graah! Thank you, but that's no help. I'll wear one and change into the other.. Hurry up, we're going to be late!"

"For what?"

"Going to the Vic. It's New Year's Eve!"

Syed fiddled with the keys in his hand nervously.

"Ah, about that…"

He saw Christian start to scowl, his eyes darkening.

"What?" He asked sharply.

"I kind of thought, maybe, we could stay in, given what happened last…"

Christian cut him off, exploding in disappointed fury.

"Oh for fuck's sake, Syed. Tonight, of all nights, can't we just go out ? Be with people, sing 'Auld Lang's Syne'?"

"Yes, but I…."

Christian zipped up his jeans and pulled his T shirt over his head. Stuffing the spare clothes into a Minute Mart bag, he grabbed a bottle of beer from the table, expertly flipping off the top. Pushing past an open mouthed Syed, he headed off wordlessly down the stairs, towards the sound of the pipes, slamming the door behind him.

Syed stood alone, listening to his departing footsteps. He looked around the silent flat dejectedly. The thought of the drunken mayhem of the Queen Vic made him shudder, but he wanted to be with Christian, to kiss him as the clock struck midnight.

'Bollocks.' He thought and went to open the door. It wouldn't budge.

"Christian!" He shouted, tugging at the handle. Something seemed to be wedged underneath. He lay down and tried to prise it free, to no avail. Cursing, he tried to call Christian's mobile but he was put through to voicemail.

"Christian! When you get this, come back and let me out! I'm stuck!"

Sighing, he kicked off his shoes and settled down on the sofa to wait.

* * *

The wailing of the pipes was getting louder now. Christian tried to shrug it off.

'It is Hogmanay after all, not so unusual..' He mused.

But he couldn't understand why there was no sign of a piper.

At the bar, Roxy greeted him raucously, and he laughed off Syed's absence, belying the void he felt inside.

"Can you hear that, babe?" He asked

"Hear what? It's the jukebox isn't it?"

He shook his head.

"No, it's coming from over there, near the toilets where they keep the boxes of crisps.. Hang on, I'll be back…"

He shifted off the bar stool and walked cautiously towards the corridor.

Suddenly he was enveloped in a swathe of plaid cloth, sucking him in, whipping around him as he fell into a swirling vortex.

He landed in a forest of red trees. Battling through, he pushed ineffectually as tendril like leaves wrapped around his face, whipping against him like steel wires.

The ground shook beneath his feet, knocking him off balance. Lying prone on the russet coloured floor he gazed up, and up, and up.

He surveyed a pair of gargantuan legs, socks crisscrossed with leather, beyond them a huge furry sporran. Miles above, he caught a glimpse of a massive beard.

He screamed as it began to move towards him, enormous red lips parting, and a voice, so deep it shook his bones, roaring;

"KISS ME, KISS ME!"

The giant's colossal hands had him by the shoulders, shaking him like a helpless rag doll. The freakish kilt was rising, gradually revealing something so hideous, so grossly malformed, that it chilled his blood. He tried to scream, but no noise came….

* * *

"Christian! Christian!"

"Whaat? No! I said no! I can't…."

Syed stroked his face softly, pressing butterfly kisses on his forehead.

"It's okay, baby. It's just a nightmare, everything's okay…."

Christian's trembling gradually subsided and he looked deep into Syed's eyes.

"I was being molested by a giant. It was New Year's Eve and I'd gone out without you…."

"Hush, hush. Listen, can you hear?"

Christian started with alarm.

"It's not pipes is it?"

"It's Big Ben. It's midnight. I love you."


End file.
